Lately, I have been looking into what is important and what I need to do. Honestly, one of the most important things I learned recently is what I want in my life and how to achieve it. For me, recently I have been getting into body building and fitness due to my fears of being overweight. I started to have weight issues when I was young becuase I loved sweets and thought I could eat anything. I was also a soccer player, colorguard girl and genuinely fit person. Although, when I got older this changed. I went from running every morning at 5 am and extreme exercises to dreading getting up in the morning and having no reason to. I had a hatred for almost everything I did and I had to step back and realize what was making me miserable.

To be honest, alot of it came from COVID but there were still issues even before COVID too…

I kept promising myself to lose weight every year until I can. I realized alot of how people look, talked and treated me was what made me upset. I realized I also put myself in many situations that had made me hate myself too. I kept prioritizing all my desires over my needs. I realize what I have done to myself and how harmful this can be to myself worth and how it can be to the people around me who love me as well. I have been putting my mental, physical and emotional health on hold and finding cheap alternatives to make me happy. At the end of the day, shit sucks.

Being an adult is hard but putting your better well being over your wants is going to lead you to success. Being an adult means managing money, family, time for yourself, work, spending time with friends, fixing things, cleaning things, figuring out what to eat, how to schedule, plan and prioritize. Shit be tough. I have been struggling with all of this in the meantime, I can not thank my friends for being there with me as I do this. I want to be what I picture myself to be. I want to be strong, save money, be on my own and live my own life. I want to be independent and explore places. Try new things.

I want to be able to live my life and explore and unforuntely, I lead myself to a place where I can’t do that.

This also accounts for IT as well. I said I was going to get my certs but I failed to and I unforuntely let myself get sucked into playing too many video games. I have become a hermit and this is not healthy for me at all. I need to become independent for my own well being and so I can finally be able to rely on myself versus others. I hope that I can show my progress on here and continue to improve more and more.

I have been doing alot of progress and I think frustration has been the motivating factor in this as well.

I am glad that I can start to see progress and start to do things again. I think alot of people have kind of put me down and I said ok due to peer pressure.

Book recommendation: Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo (read the whole thing and I love it)

If this helps anyone, please feel free to reach out and hopefully we can do this together!

Usually Dm’s are best on twitter

Much love and keep going.

• Mux